In my first blog.. have tried to explain the kinda person I'am.. and have failed miserably.. yes.. MISERABLY... tho i wouldn't negate bout the "BORING GUY" part.. cos its a fact and the word "FAILED".. fits me LIKE A GLOVE.. yup... it sure does... and I'am not kidding...
Over the past half a decade... happiness has eluded me.. tho there are flashes of it here and there.. just tryin to tell me that its still in existence... i wud say that spotting tigers in india are more frequent than spotting me to be gleeful. I have absolutely no idea as to what is goin thro this shitty head of mine. Tho i have the maturity of a 23 year old, on the epidermis, i portray the characteristics of a hobbledehoy, and over the same period of time.. i have come across so many people of my age doing the most ridiculous of things and getting away with it remaining to be happy and making truck loads of money.. but there is the key word here..HAPPY... and I'm here tryin to figure out a way to get outta the ruckus that am in.. but as time ticks by.. i realize that m just getting deeper and deeper into it..more like staring into the abyss... wondering will there ever be a glow at the bottom.. tho seems unlikely as of today's scenario. Keeping tabs with my chums, i can only put my head down in shame, pain and agony.. cos compared to what they are doin, my contribution here is naught, and talkin bout the cameo roles played by happiness in my life.. i wud say.. they are in just 1 form.. and no prizes for guessing.. yup.. football.. MANCHESTER UNITED rather...!!
But an in depth analysis of me would probably yield results similar to that of the not so famous English football Club "West Bromwich Albion".. nicknamed the Yo-Yoingteam in the league, u never know..if you probably google my name,the results would navigate you to WBA, and an object tat would probably hold a better description of me is a POGO stick, jumping up and down and up and down...and every time i have gone down, the spring's screws up, and it takes time to bounce up again, at least a year, luckily enough, i have enough spare parts to fix so that i bounce back up in the very next year(touch wood).
Life.. hasn't been all tat easy a walk for me.. neither has it been a race.. but then.. i wud say.. it sure is filled with hoards of injuries... right from friday.. may 13th 2005 till date. and of course, my results were bad.. but that wasn't the end of the road.. infact.. it forked into many more narrower asphalts.. but i chose the one.. tat was and is still the widest the narrowest ones had to offer.. and by golly.. that proved to be the worst ever decision in my entire life, it was a naive, adamant and the most disconsolate decision tat one could ever make... I chose to pursue Engineering.. a mere 4- year course.. but now.. extended to a 7 year one..it was not an option i chose.. but then.. i think i deserved it.. atleast for makin it a 6 year one.. but the seventh.... i wud say.. was a bit harsh..more like awarding penalty for a perfect and legitimate challenge in the penalty area.. but then.. once the whistle is blown.. on account of infringement there is not turning back but then only hopin tat the goalie saves the spot kick.. or in this context.. in the from of revaluation..i had to accept it and move on.. forced to rather.. and ofcourse.. again made to wait, and it's a given. The waiting game aint a friendly one, tho it has tested my patience, credibility, temperament and frikkin shite.. it makes me feel more guilty by the minute, it sure has gotten me frustrated at times makin me lose myself and throw tantrums where there was no need for me to, nevertheless... the waiting game is not something that i or as a matter of fact.. anyone else would curse playing.. tho people say good things come to those who wait.. look at me.. have waited.. and waited.. and m still waiting.. and not even a mongrel on the street has winked at me..and here I'am talkin bout good things.... bah..!! But then again..i reinstate.. WAIT.. people in disparity.. pls wait.. just like i'am... complain, get frustrated, throw tantrums, but pls don't run outta patience to wait.
WAIT.. like there is a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter, because we'll be together...and in this context.. i hope.. at the end of all the Mellie tats dwindling around my perennial war with life, i hope i stay together to get to the next station, if not far away.. as mentioned above, and in the end, i hope to have a smile , not the one of accomplishment.. but the one that portrays relief, and also hopin to have put a smile on people around me also smile, cos they are the only ones that were around me during this suffering of mine.. and m WAITIN to see the day.. after all, m prolly the only one in this kinda exodus here....>!!!!
3 comments:
excellent piece...reeks of melancholy and disappointment..but nice start to writing...keep it going..
Contrary to Madhu's opinion, I would not use the word "excellent" to describe the pessimism that is replete here. However, an impressive 7/10 for vocab/metaphors and other paraphernalia that adorn this section of the blog.
I am going to cut to the brasstacks- For the next section, might I suggest a recap of MAN U's games on Sat or A recap of a porno flick...(it does help..); Something to balance the intense negativity with inklings of positivity (granted Satan himself is reciting the bible here...I am a hypocrite here as I myself am deprived of optimism..but this is just a suggestion..).
very nice writing..carry on...ur way f expressing thng r vry unique!!
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